For a while I've been wrestling with God regarding a theological truth. There are times in my life where these struggles seem to reach a point of intense mental opposition (where Galatians 5:17, or Romans 7, seems to be at a peak in my mind). I must say that I don't prefer these times. They times tend to carry along with them a long of physical, spiritual and mental strain - where I feel as though I cannot bear under the burden of these difficulties. That said, these times are (in some senses) needed in my life.
Last night I explained more to my wife what I was going through. And, our conversation was such a blessing. Tracy displayed so much grace, compassion, truth and wisdom. She challenged me in a way that showed me what faith needs to look like. I am so thankful to God for her!
I'm slowly re-learning (through God's great patience) that I need to exercise faith. This means to take my thoughts captive and fight sin actively and seek to trust God even (and maybe especially) when things do not make sense. So, instead of resorting to worry, I must actively engage in the lifestyle of faith - where I value and depend on who God is and what he says above anything else.
Now, your struggle might be different than mine. You might be facing some horrendously difficult trial. Either way, I hope that you see God's goodness towards you and that you embrace him with all your heart and trust him. "If you can't trace God's hand, trust his heart" (Spurgeon).
Here are some lyrics to a song that are especially encouraging to me, and I hope it is a help to you.
Out of the depths, O Lord, I cry to You
When I am tempted to despair.
And though I have failed to trust Your promises
You never fail to hear my prayer.
And, if you judge my sin, I'd never stand again.
But, I see mercy in Your hands.
So, more than watchmen for the morning,
I will wait for you, my God.
When my fears come with no warning,
In Your Word I put my trust.
When the harvest time is over,
and I still see no fruit,
I will wait. I will wait for You.
The secret mysteries belong to You.
We only know what You reveal.
And all my questions are unresolved
Don't change the wisdom of Your will.
In every trial and loss,
My hope is in the cross -
Where Your compassions never fail.
So, more than watchmen for the morning,
I will wait for you, my God.
When my fears come with no warning,
In Your Word I put my trust.
When the harvest time is over,
and I still see no fruit,
I will wait. I will wait for You.
(from the Psalms CD, Sovereign Grace Music)